About a year ago, I was visiting some friends in wild and fun city of Los Angeles. One friend was a nerd, and the other was a BDSM aficianado. The first took me to a sci-fi conference and the other took me to a bondage party. Although the venues were absolutely different, I realized that the people attending these two diverse events were remarkably similar.

To me, attendees of both events felt a bit empty, like they were seeking something that was missing in life... and that whatever they were interested in - whether it was the imaginary physics of StarGate universe or the proper use of a whip - was infusing them with a sense of "meaning". A celebrity on stage talks about how the transporter might actually work - by getting around the Heisenberg principle with a Heisenberg compensator, and the Trekkies in the audience coo and twitter with the same fascination that the BDSM crowd have when this gorgeous porn star shows up and allows herself to be bound and whipped.

I shouldn't pick on Trekkies or the BDSM crowd - this is true for many people. People derive meaning from shopping, from beauty products, from celebrities, from their cars, from their religions. Most of the magazines in America are based on this hunger for meaning in modern life.

This brings me to spirituality. Many people approaching either Taoism or Tantra, or any other spiritual practice, come at it from many different directions. They come in many flavors. Let's start with Tantra nerds - those who know lots of information about tantra and tend to insist on teaching it no matter if you're willing or not. Next, the Tantra police, who enforce their version of the absolute truth - sometimes these people strike me as "needing to be right or smart in order to feel like they deserve to be loved." Remember what Lao Tzu said... "Those who talk, don't know. Those who know, don't talk." Get some of these people together at a party, and the result sometimes looks like dharma combat. This is because such people, even with the best of intentions, are driven by the same deep yearning or hunger for meaning that Trekkies do.

It gets worse. Once in a while, you run across the walking wounded - tantrikas who are so hungry for touch and warmth, that they attack cuddle parties and tantra workshops like a Vegas all-you-can-eat buffet for the soul. And don't forget those who are hopelessly attached to the idea that "there are no teachers, Tantra is just letting go and being God." To me, they feel a bit like salesmen, who are trying to sell me on the idea that excessive mileage or dents are a good thing. By insisting that they don't need to meditate to be enlightened, they instill a culture of spiritual laziness and bullshitting. And the worst are the spiritual predators, who really do have some wisdom and spiritual power, but use that power to convince or coerce men or women in their classes and workshops into giving them sex or their life savings.

My favorite was a self-proclaimed Taoist master whose ad I found in a neighborhood spiritual magazine. He was local, so I called him to see if he'd welcome a visit from a fellow Taoist. He had a Chinese name and spoke with a Chinese accent. However, when I went to visit him, I found a young Caucasian man wearing Taoist robes and doing calligraphy. He assumed an air of spiritual achievement, and spoke like my uncle. I was polite and had a cup of tea to see if he actually knew anything. But I had a hard time not judging the book by its cover... he felt like a teenaged white boy acting like a gangsta, appropriating someone else's culture to fill the void in his own.

Spiritual materialism can afflict anyone, even truly enlightened beings. I remember - many years ago - going to receive Shaktipat from Swami Muktananda, who was a very powerful guru, and during the event, I noticed his two successors, Gurumayi and Nityanand (brother and sister). Suddenly, Nityananda, who must have been only 18 at the time, pulled his arm up and out of his ochre robes, to check out his shiny gold Rolex. I thought, "Yes, that one is going to enjoy a very bumpy ride to enlightenment." After Muktananda's passing, Nityananda was expelled from the Siddha Yoga organization by his sister, as punishment for engaging in sexual misconduct with a number of his pretty young American devotees. Subsequently, Gurumayi took over the  ashram and bank accounts. (And you thought the tantra world was subject to gossip and intrigue...)

But if you look Nityananda up now, he's still teaching and his students claim he learned from the experience, and his shakti is supposedly quite powerful. On the other hand, the beautiful and remarkable Gurumayi has become a reclusive and hasn't been seen publicly in years. So you never know.

Anyway, what's interesting is the study of the small subset of people who pursue knowledge from a place that is beyond any void of self-worth and lack of meaning. Who are these people? They're the quiet ones. They don't have anything to sell, or prove. They wear what they wear because they want to, not because the media tells them to or because they derive meaning and coolness from some brand. They dwell in a space of love abundance and prosperity, so they're actually fulfilled in their lives. They are quietly and genuinely happy. They're present. They listen to you with every cell in their bodies. They get you. So who are these people and how did they get to become who they are?

Let us know your thoughts, by commenting below!