There’s an absolutely wonderful book called Somebodies and Nobodies: Overcoming the Abuse of Rank. It’s by Robert W. Fuller, whose ideas about the fundamental physics of respect and dignity were developed from his experiences as a father, as a student, as a teacher, as a college president, as a world traveler, as a citizen diplomat, and as an observer of international affairs.

Bob Fuller is an interesting guy. First he was a physicist, earning a Ph.D. in physics at Princeton University and then he taught at Columbia where he co-authored the notable text Mathematics of Classical and Quantum Physics. Then he became engrossed in educational reform, and became the youngest president of Oberlin College, his Alma Mater. In 1971 Fuller served as a consultant to Indira Gandhi and witnessed the famine resulting from India’s war with Pakistan over the fate of Bangladesh. When President Carter was elected, he initiated a campaign to persuade the president to end world hunger. Fuller’s meeting with President Carter in 1977 helped facilitate the establishment of the Presidential Commission on World Hunger.

After meeting Presidents and jetting  around the world, Fuller found himself a bit adrift and marginalized after he left the limelight. As Fuller reflected upon his own life experience, he had his epiphany about the most subjective human perspective of all – dignity.

At the outset, he notes that the hearts, minds, and souls of millions of people are scarred and irreparably damaged by rankism — the negative treatment of someone by a person in power. Fuller finds such assaults on dignity taking place every day in a thousand ways when a boss humiliates an employee, a teacher berates a student, a resident of a high rise apartment shames a doorman, a parent emotionally abuses a child, or a customer calls a dakini a whore. The author is convinced that racism, sexism, anti-Semitism, ageism, and many other isms are actually subspecies of rankism.

He calls for a dignitarian movement to counterbalance the excesses of this disturbing phenomenon. Fuller writes, "Rankism erodes the will to learn, distorts personal relationships, taxes economic productivity, and stokes ethnic hatred. It is the cause of dysfunctionality, and sometimes even violence, in families, schools, and the workplace."

Fuller is not an anarchist, in that he does not attack rank itself – rank is often hard earned –the joy and fulfillment that comes to a person who has spent years honing a skill and is rewarded for his or her achievement of excellence. He is against those who abuse their power and status as a weapon against others. For example, the rich who have unequal resources are able to buy their way out of prison terms while the poor can't find legal representation that isn’t intent on plea-bargaining anyone too poor to afford a lawyer.

Rankism and Sexuality

Now what does all of this have to do with tantra? Well, the interaction between rank and sexwork is really quite fascinating. I mean, isn't the term "high class whore" the kind of oxymoron that reveals how people tenaciously hold onto a class-based view of prostitution? Perhaps the sex industry provides the best example of how people unconsciously develop dynamic class relations based on micro-inequities that deny certain people respect and dignity.

It may be that tantric sexuality holds a key to creating a dignitarian model for sexwork and perhaps even sexuality itself. One goal of tantra is to receive your lover as an incarnation of divinity – as a god or goddess, worthy of absolute respect and reverence. Additionally, Tantra is about expanding your awareness to be truly present with your lover. True presence is possibly the greatest gift you can bestow on another, and in a sense the basis of respect. In fact, the origin of the word respect is in Latin – to look again. And isn’t the most painful micro-inequity to ignore the janitor or panhandler, as if they did not exist or as if they did not matter? Finally, these micro-inequities are fundamentally based on duality, whereas Tantra is based on achieving oneness. So as you become one with the other, you cannot be in a state of division.

Fuller concludes that a dignitarian movement would help society move beyond rankism, which " lies at the nexus of morality, civility and civil rights." Perhaps these three keys of tantra – being open to seeing the beauty and divinity of all beings, demonstrating respect by being fully present with another, and finally, achieving oneness – to completely accept another human being – might also be keys for dissolving rankism within sexuality? For example, if you look at this new television show Cougar Town, it's about a 40-something woman, freshly divorced, jumping back into the pool and nailing some younger men. The show is replete with potential, but tries a little too hard to be funny. Just calm down babe, and connect with me.

The protagonist, played by Courteney Cox - who looks good enough to give Demi Moore a run for her money, ends a long sexual famine by hunting down a young stud and feasting on him. She remarks, after the kill, "We had sex three times without you needing a nap or pills or anything... I feel like I can see colors again!" If a male protagonist said that after bedding a 20 something stripper, he'd be universally detested. But flip the gender dynamic, and suddenly predatory sexual desperation becomes the basis for a gag instead of a gag reflex. But the writers realize they're on thin ice... when the protagonists asks her son why he doesn’t laugh at her sex jokes, he responds, "Because they make me sad."

This TV show uncovers a deep rankism around sexuality in our society – an obsession with youth that has spread to both sexes. It used to be that Dad would run off with the nubile secretary, but no, not Mom! With Mom giving into her baser urges, there's no stopping the devolution of our species toward our evolutionary imperative - seek younger partners with requisite genetic markers for health and childbearing. As a result, the young hold the highest rank and control sexual capital, leaving everyone else feeling fat, forty and forevermore... sexually devalued. With this as a backdrop, the abuse of sexual rank becomes easy, as micro-inequities spread like brushfires in LA in the summer. Next thing you know, you have the cougar trend and a herd of trainer toned 40 something real estate agents and media mavens are on the hunt. As Salon's Rebecca Traister wrote, "How sad and backward that we have to give it a nickname, animalize it as if it's outside the boundaries of civilized human behavior, make it a trend, pretend that Demi Moore invented it. That's not progress, and it's not a step forward for women."

What does the neo-tantra movement have to say about cougars? It believe that the primary principle of neo-tantra is to stop denying the reality of your sexuality. If you are attracted to younger mates, as long as everyone is a consenting adult... go and explore that dimension! Eventually, it passes, like any fad or fetish, and you will return to the reality of the present moment... that every sexual connection should be pursued with reverence, presence and dignity. That there is no rank in sexual connection, because all human beings are capable of profound love and connection. That there is a god or goddess in every human being.